Whose Choice?

I read the saddest, most tragic story today while I was waiting for my doctor. It was in Vogue, and it was written by a woman who went into premature labor, at 23 weeks.

The article immediately struck a chord with me because my oldest child was born, 11 years ago, at 24 weeks gestation (meaning he was 16 weeks premature). I won't catalog his difficulties in this particular blog, but suffice it to say he had a very long, very difficult "tour" in the NICU. However, he is now a very healthy and happy almost 12 year old. He is smart, funny, sarcastic, gets good grades (except in Math) and loves Spider-Man movies, basketball, and video games. In short, he's a normal 11 year old boy.

Back to the article. The woman who wrote the article detailed how she went into labor at 23 weeks, 10 years ago, in New York, due to an incompetent cervix (so far our stories are practically mirror images of each other). The neonatologist and pediatrician on call at the hospital gave her warnings of what possible pitfalls might befall her premature infant (and yes, some children who are born that premature have severe, lifelong handicaps). Long story short: the mother decided to abort this otherwise healthy baby simply due to the fact that life in the NICU was going to be difficult, and her baby would undoubtedly have struggles.

Do not get me wrong: I am not exclusively blaming the mother in this situation. No, in fact, I find mothers in situations like this are often emotionally maimed after having an abortion and are left, wracked with guilt, to deal with the psychological repercussions of their actions. (In fact, the underlying "tone" of the article seemed to be of trying to convince herself, and her audience, that she did the 'right thing'.)
I am, however, casting blame upon a medical system that says that a life which might have "complications" should be snuffed out before it has even had a chance to begin. I'm also casting (big) blame upon our laws in America that allow late term abortions to happen all the time - for basically any reason - and we wrap it all up in the name of choice. Who the hell gets a choice? Certainly not the baby who is being snuffed. Abortion is not a neat, tidy little procedure. A human being dies - painfully and violently - during an abortion. Then the mother is scarred, emotionally, forever. I think even the most staunchly pro-choice women among us would grapple with feelings of guilt, repressed or not, after an abortion.

Of course, all day I've been thinking of this tiny premature baby, who through no fault of his own was about to be born early, and his mother, the one person on the planet who was supposed to love and protect him decided in fact to have him killed, because she didn't want to deal with the difficulties of the unknown.

I cry as I write this. I mourn that decision; and I mourn the loss of that child.

When will we wake up in our country? We have the blood of over a million babies per year on our hands. We wrap up this horrible practice in a word we Americans all love - CHOICE - and expect that that will sanitize and sanctify it. It doesn't. Not by a long shot.