Below is courtesy of MountainWings.
Dear Internal Revenue Service:
On this April 15th tax return due date you will find enclosed my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper,dated November 12th, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Departmentof Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
Therefore, I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 inch Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
To recap my enclosures: Four toilet seats, Six hammers, and One screw.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
A Satisfied Taxpayer
11 hours ago