Below are my New Years resolutions for 2008. Yes, these are a joke. (I'm all FOR personal change, but I think the habit of making Grand Pronouncements on January 1st is a wee bit silly.)
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Complete waste of time.
- Read less. Why bother thinking?
- Watch more TV. Think of all the good stuff I might have been missing!
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- Take a vacation to someplace important.... like to see the world's largest ball of twine.
- Start being superstitious, and begin using the "evil eye" to ward off enemies.
- Personal goal: bring back disco. Dress like an extra from “Flashdance”.
- Buy an '83 low-rider Eldorado and get a really loud stereo system; the kind that makes the windows vibrate. Tint the windows purple and buy some pink fur for the dash.
- Wear hip hugger jeans that are 2 sizes too small. Accent this with a midriff baring top. Don't forget the navel ring to complete the look.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
As always, Dave Barry's "Year in Review" is hilarious and worth reading. Below is a link to his 2007 Year In Review column from the Miami Herald:
http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/story/359826.html
As always, Dave Barry's "Year in Review" is hilarious and worth reading. Below is a link to his 2007 Year In Review column from the Miami Herald:
http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/story/359826.html
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