Well, if the full moon can "pull" the tides, cause women to go into labor, babies to be born and cause all sorts of miscellaneous chaos, I suppose it can cause my otherwise Good Guy Hubster to act like a total weinie-head.
Suffice it to say, I'm ready to shoot him tonight. Not with a lethal gun.... no, nothing like that. I'm actually thinking of going down into our basement, digging through all his junvenile "toys" and pulling out his "Potato Cannon" (yes, ladies and gentleman, my 44 year old husband has a potato gun that shoots raw potatoes into the air), and shooting him, in the ass, at point blank range.
To recount the evenings events: there was a function at my church this evening that needed volunteers. So, I've been serving at church for about 4 hours (which I love - it's wonderful).
So, anyway, I get home at 9:30. Dark. Past dinnertime. Almost bedtime. Our son J is home, reading. Our daughter S is nowhere to be found.
I ask Hubster "Where is S?"
Hubster replies, "Umm, not really sure. Maybe over at Rachel's house...?"
(What? It's 9:30 at night, and you don't know where your 10 year old daughter is???)
I remain calm but say "Can you hand me the phone please?"
I dial Rachel's house and talk to her mother - yes, she's over there. Yes, she's had dinner. Yes, they've been waiting for either me or my husband to come pick her up (!!!)
As I'm talking, Hubster starts giving me the "irritated" look and then he has the nerve to say, while I'm ascertaining the whereabouts of our daughter, "Can you talk in the other room? This is a critical part in the movie."
To say I saw red is a gross understatement.
So, if you hear about a grisly homicide tonight, outside Atlanta, committed by an otherwise very placid and loving wife and mother, you'll know it was me.
Argh.
11 comments:
"I don't know... they always seemed like such a happy couple. Real quiet... except for that potatoe launcher."
And there you have it folks... this is Nancy Grace coming to you from Atlanta.
Oh, Sister... shoot him.
*****
(And thanks for the tag. I gave a printout to my City Girl this morning at breakfast. She cried.)
Awww.... that's so sweet! I am so happy to have helped to facilitate a special Mommy-Daughter "moment".
How sweet is that!
I LOL'ed about the Nancy Grace thing. Does she kill you with those Withering Gazes or WHAT? She's hilarious (I know she doesn't MEAN to be, but she IS.)
Hubster has already asked me "out" to lunch at Chipotle tomorrow. (I am SUCH a sucker for Chipotle burritos... with lots of guacamole and lots of red sauce... spicy enough to make my lips tingle...)
I may still have to shoot him though. ;-)
I often say that they are merely babysitters and not even all that good at that!
Glad you found her - sheesh!
Take care - Kellan
I was just on the CNN website, here is literally what it says:
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5 DEAD HUSBANDS??
A 76 year old woman has five dead husbands! Police investigate an alleged "Black Widow"
Tonight with Nancy Grace
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Oh my gosh you two! I am laughing uproariously....I don't know how to spell the word uproariously, but I had to work all day today doing engagement photos and I have missed out on you two. Seriously, I feel like we get together for coffee daily, and I LOVE it.
Oh hubster! I thought he could do no wrong?! But Mexican food is the way to my heart too!
Now THAT is funny! Who knew Nancy Grace would be profiling a "black widow" tonight, the VERY night Sugar and I decided to joke about such a thing....
I wish now that I had turned on the TV and watched it. I would have been laughing uproariously, too. :-)
Sorry to hear about his demise.
I hope the light of day makes things a bit better. Do you have life insurance? You better make it look like an accident.
What the heck is he doing to those poor innocent potatoes anyway?
Suz - I will take video of him shooting this stupid Potato Gun. It's absolutely ridiculous. It's totally a guy thing.... I just don't get it. He actually brought it to a cookout with us not long ago, and all the guys surrounded it like it was a naked woman that had just popped out of a cake. It's pneumatic, and one of the guys happened to have an air compressor in his truck (!!), so they were literally (after many beers) pressurizing it, loading it with potatoes, and then shooting the potatoes hundreds of feet into the air. (Gee, doesn't THAT sound like fun....)
Needless to say, the wives/girlfriends at the cookout were "less than imipressed").
Okay... I'm feeling spooky now! First the Bid D thing... now this... I almost backspaced Nancy Grace, too! woah...
Maybe I SHOULD go out and buy a Lottery ticket.
It must be the full moon.
OMG How did you not pop his face with potatoes?!?!
Huh, well I guess I could see myself doing the same thing as your Hubster. Some things don't seem to register with us males; particularly if there's something that we're engrossed in (like a good movie).
I know Jan is always a little skeptical of my more laid back parenting approach. But it's a lot of work constantly chasing after kids.
The potato gun sounds really cool. Now that would make a great Father's Day gift. I wonder what would happen if you shot varmints with it?
Deron, I can tell you, in all seriousness, that whatever you shot with it would be maimed or killed. The potatoes come out with tremendous velocity and force. (In some states, potato guns are even illegal, believe it or not.)
So, if you had varmints to shoot (possums, racoons, or whatever) this would "dispatch" them rather quickly.
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